Our Transgender Journey : April 2009

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Alpaca Jazzy Day

On Saturday my husband and I took Jazzy to an Alpaca farm in Portage Vale outside of Sussex.

She was so excited to go see the Alpaca and was telling everyone that day where she was going.

She met Brenda and Mike at a craft show last year where they were selling products from their Alpaca wool. So, we decided since we were going to be in Sussex visiting my parents (and Adam getting fitted for some much needed new golf clubs - his bonus for finishing his Masters last year)

that we would stop to see the Alpaca.

I think they are adorable and cute, Adam thinks they are so ugly they are cute... Jazzy, well aside from being scared of one of them because he moved to fast to get the food, thought they were very 'cute'.. You decide for yourself!

DOUBLE FOOTBALL HOLD!

So I have been able to nurse the girls twice a day. They are not strong enough yet to be nursed more often as it is a lot more work than they are used to and they get tired so fast. They do however, take a bottle most of the other feedings which means they are getting stronger. I love nursing them and it is a wonderful experience to see them grow and develop.

Ruby is actually much better at nursing. Charlotte seems to be having trouble figuring out the whole breathing and sucking and swallowing thing together so she tires herself out really fast..

The other night we decided to try them both at the same time.. That was interesting, and nothing short of wonderful. It was not easy to get them into position, thankfully I had help. I do think it will be much easier when they are just a little bit bigger, and when they have their tubes and cords off of them.

All in all, I am so delighted to be able to nurse them more and more..

GRANDPARENTS

My parents drive up 45 minutes to see the babies. They have been coming up once a week, but like us in the beginning there was little they could do as the girls were in their incubators. Now that they have been moved up to big girl beds and we are able to do more with them and their apneas are less, we feel comfortable with other family holding them. I called mom and dad on Sunday afternoon to let them know they would be able to hold them. I guess you could say they were a bit anxious to do so as they drove up that evening to see them, and to hold them.

They loved every minute of it, as did I watching them!

Ruby is in the yellow and Charlotte is in the Pink

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Big Baby Steps

So this week has been a very eventful week for our little twin girls. Today when I went up to visit them and bring back some clean matching blankets and outfits (they do provide them but if you want to bring in their own you take them home to wash them so they don't get mixed up with the Units things). I got to change them before their feedings, which I love doing anything, and to my surprise Jan, the nurse who was in charge of the twins today brought over their feed, but it was in a bottle. I was so excited and was able to feed Ruby while she fed Charlotte. She sucked it back much faster than I had expected, and so to prove to us just how big of girls they are on their one month birthday, they both took their whole feeding by bottle. They won't take all their feedings by bottle just yet because it tires them out so quickly, but they are making great progress. Tomorrow I get to try my hand at giving them each a bath, and they said sometime within the next week or so they are going to try to get them to latch onto me..
Its been an exciting week for the McKim twins and I am so happy our little girls are progressing, and sad Daddy has been sick and had to miss all these events!

Here are the girls together for one of the first times since being born!
Charlotte on the left and Ruby on the right... I will be so happy when they get their little tubes out, but for now, we are happy that is all they need to have!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

BIG GIRL BEDS

Look at me.. Two posts in one day.

I went up today to visit the girls (my husband is still sick) and thankfully brought along my camera as today was a BIG day for the girls, they moved out of their incubators and into big girl beds. Charlotte into a regular big girl bed, and Ruby (because she weighs less) is into a big girl water bed tent... Plus they get to wear clothes now, so some of the really little clothes people have brought and given to us will get used. The girls are growing so long we were not sure if we would get to use the tiny clothes!

It is SO wonderful to see them getting bigger and progressing. It is also so much easier to interact with them and change them and kiss them. This is exciting news for the girls and us..

Charlotte

Charlotte with the hats grammy McKim knit for them

Ruby Jane

Ruby Jane in her Tent

Still side by side, just not quite in the same type of home anymore!

MY LITTLE GIRLS ARE 4 WEEKS OLD

I know it has been a long time since I have posted about my every growing little girls. I sometimes feel like there is nothing new to report except that they are growing every day. However, yesterday was a big day as I got to hold both my sweet little girls at the same time for the first time. It was wonderful and so sweet to hold my two little girls together. It was also, for lack of a better term, a bit of a reality check! I wanted to move Ruby's head to look at me because she was awake, but because I had Charlotte in the other arm I was not able to do so.. It made me realize that holding both of them at the same time will not be the easiest thing, nor will breast feeding at the same time be something simple. Since the girls are still hooked up to their monitors, the staff had to help me get the girls in my arms. Thankfully they have a camera there at the NICU as I did not know I was going to be holding my girls today. We had not held Charlotte in over a week due to her apneas, and Ruby for three days, so I had no clue. Adam has been sick again and as assumed has not been able to go see his sweet little girls. It is so hard on him but he is really quite sick right now.

So our little girls look like my side of the family. They are Harvey through and through.

They really look like my father and my brother. I too look like my father, but even the staff who have seen my father come in to visit have commented on how much they look like him. I wish I had some baby photos of my father and brother on my computer to show you, but there are a couple of my baby photos where I find they look like me too. The girls are really coming to their own and filling out. They look more alike in person than they do in the photos especially because Charlotte is still quite pale, and Ruby is still enjoying her nice colour.

Ruby is no longer the smallest baby in the NICU, though she is growing plenty, it is because a smaller baby came in.

They are growing like crazy. Ruby since she was born has grown in length 7.5 cm (3.4 inches for all the Americans) which is an insane amount of length for less than four weeks at the time of measuring. Ruby now weighs just slightly over 4 pounds.. Charlotte who only grew 3 cm (1.3 inches) is up to a big 4 pounds 7 ounces. When they were born they were 10 ounces apart, so little Ruby Jane is making some progress on her sister.

They are such sweet babies, and the NICU just loves them and always comments on how sweet they are. Dr Montessaro walked by me yesterday and commented on how beautiful our little girls are. I know.. I know.. I am sure they say that to everyone, but it is still nice to hear and see how wonderful all the staff are with the girls.

They were 4 weeks old on Thursday, and I can't believe since being admitted to the hospital as inpatient it has been 2 months. It seems like so long ago I was spending my first night ever in the hospital.

We have been very blessed with the girls being as healthy has they have been. They are so fun to go and visit when they are awake because they are further along in development and more interactive. Last night I was up at the NICU just before feeding and I was changing their nasty filled diapers and Charlotte was crying SO much louder than I've heard her before as she was hungry. I could not help myself but smile and laugh a little... mostly because I love seeing them grow and her lungs are so much stronger than I've heard them.

We still have no idea what the date is going to be on them coming home... but regardless the little girls are progressing at a great rate, and I keep telling myself they will be home before I know it, and I will be begging one of the nurses to come home with me!

Mommy and her little girls
Charlotte on my left and Ruby on my right

Can you see any resemblance?

Maybe seeing the resemblance is not as easy in the photo of the twins, but trust me they look like my father and I...

Off to the NICU again.. Hoping to hold them again, this time bringing my camera.

Friday, April 03, 2009

BABY GIRLS UPDATES

It's hard to believe our little girls are already 2 weeks old. Today when I went up to visit and got their update, Ruby who passed who birth weight the other day passed the THREE pound mark and is now 3 pounds 1 ounce. Charlotte is not growing as fast, though she was bigger to start with. She is up to 3 pounds 9.5 ounces. We are hoping Ruby will catch up quickly so they will be able to leave the hospital together. Everyone keeps asking when they will be able to leave the hospital, and really the only answer I can give you is their original due date, May 25th. If it is earlier, it will be wonderful, but all the staff and Doctors tell us to put that date in our heads, and hope that they are ready to leave at that date.
They are both doing very well. They have some dips in their heart rates which are called Apnea. Basically what it means is that because they are so premature, their little brains are not totally developed to tell their bodies they need to breathe. So, sometimes they get too comfortable (especially when they are on asleep on our chests) and sometimes forget to breathe. It is VERY normal for premature babies and they say they will eventually grow out of it as they develop more.
They are such sweet little things. We have been enjoying the Kangaroo Care at night, getting to hold one each for about an hour. If we are around when they are getting fed (all my breast milk which is great) we get to change their little diapers. Do not be fooled, I could not believe how much poo and mess they could both make. Charlotte had a major explosion right before I went to change her, and Ruby (for the second time) decided it would be more fun to wait until I was mid changing her to explode.
They are growing, but they are still so little (though really long).
I am feeling OK. Physically I am getting more energy and trying to adapt my body into not having as much sleep, or more interrupted sleep by having to get up to pump. I suppose it is great preparation for when they come home. Mentally, Emotionally, some days are better than others. I am careful to watch my emotions for any signs of anything major, but my tears are simply a mixture of hormones and my desire to hold my little girls more, or to have them home with us. It still feel VERY odd when people call me mommy, or mother. Maybe it is because they are not home with us, or just the simple fact that I am still surprised that I am finally a mother.
They really are sweet.. I have made them some matching blankets for outside their little warm homes, and also a bunch of matching little blankets for under them..
The staff are so very wonderful to us and with our girls.. They are all happy with how great they are doing. They have plenty of company at the NICU though Ruby is still the smallest baby in the unit.. They have some more permanent company with a set of triplets who where delivered at almost 33 weeks last week.. Though they were also early they were all over 4 pounds and also doing great..
I love going up to see our girls, but it has been tiring going back and forth. Thankfully we live REALLY close to the hospital and the last couple of days while my husband has been away I have walked either up and back, or got a ride up and walked back. It takes roughly 20 minutes at my current pace to walk back, and its good for me to get out and about and get the exercise.

Thank you to everyone who I know have been saying many prayers for all of us and for everyone's support. We have a long couple months still ahead of us, but thankfully they are doing really well.