Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Ultimate Question

I have been SERIOUSLY struggling with a major decision lately.  I am struggling with the fact that my maternity leave is up soon and my return to WORK date is MARCH 22nd.  Three days after the girls real birthday and 2 months before the adjusted one year mark.  

I have been going through option after option in my head trying to make sense of everything and trying to predict the future (which I have determined is really hard by the way)!

Do I go back to work, do I stay home, so I go back to work, do I quit???  Over and over again at least every hour I run the scenarios through my head until the all get jumbled up together and I have to start all over again the next hour.

First off I have to say that I have applied for an extended leave, and that was denied due to man power requirements.  I have also had a request in for part time since before I went out on Maternity leave, that too is not going to happen for a while.  SO I have done everything before I return to work to allow myself to not go back to work right away for full time.

For those of you who are followers of my blog and not from my immediate area of Eastern Canada, day care here for TWO one years olds is around 125/175 per week PER CHILD!  So my husband and I could look forward to paying between 1000/1400 for child care per month.  The day cares closest to us in Millidgeville are all 175/week per child and it goes down as the children get older... 

Now before any of you jump at me, I realize there are many women out there who work and pay day care for multiple children and I tip my hat to those of you who do.

Here are my options in my head.... PICK ONE for me.. I'd like to say that which ever one gets the most votes is what I am going to pick, but lets face it I fear I am going to make the decision on the 22nd of March after my first day back at work.

Here are my options

1.  QUIT work - simple sounding isn't it?  It really isn't!  After 13 years with the same company of Air Canada I have grown accustom to traveling for next to nothing and having a regular pay cheque and a social life revolving around my work friends.  A great pension I have been paying into and wonderful benefits system (though my husband has a great one too so that is not as important)

2. Go BACK to WORK 
      a.  Go back to work full time and work my rotating schedule of days/afternoons/evenings/nights and have the babies full time at day care and I will get to see them some days and some not.
      b.  Go back to work full time and work all evenings and not have pay for day care as my husband can be home from his teaching job at 4pm and I can go into work at 4pm (It is up the street) and work until midnight and take care of the girls during the day and see my husband on the weekends (when I have them off) but Remember ZERO day care costs... 

      c.  Go back to work for a few months until my husband is off for the summer and then quit and have the summer off with him and the girls and worry about tomorrow - tomorrow??

3.  Quit right now and take two children into my own home as their daycare and make up most of the difference from my pay cheque verses the cost of day care!  (note would not have summer off with husband and babies)

4.  Quit right now... do nothing until September and take a couple kids in at that point!!

5.  Quit (I see a theme) and apply at the new Costco to work part time (assuming I would get hired)

6.  Finally the last option... Go back to work... try it out and if I hate it.. QUIT and figure it out at that point...

Do you SEE why I am so confused..???
My husband is supportive of whatever I choose to do.  Honestly he does not want me to go back to work but sees the financial benefit of doing so.  I do not need to work at Air Canada, but I do need to do something to bring in some money each month to help pay my student loans (yeah still) and pay down our overall debt load.  

HELP PLEASE! (I also take suggestions)


The Full Nelson said...

Jenny I know exactly how you feel! Well I wasn't with the same company for that long so I guess it's not really the same. For me to put Karington and Ethan in childcare was going to be about 1200 a really wasn't worth it with my paycheque. SO I stayed at home and babysit two kids full-time. I am not sure what I will do when this baby comes because it may be too hectic. I think option 2 a and b sound a bit'd be exhausted and miss days with your girls. Maybe take two kids in come September and have the summer off. OR if you're near a school maybe do before and after school care...that way you still have some of your days to yourself and the girls. I hope you figure it out. It really is so wonderful to be home with my kids during the day and although I don't want to say you should definately do it, I think it's great if you are able to. Super long comment, sorry!

The Super Seven said...

Go with your's the best thing to follow somedays. I didn't go back to work after Sarah and it's tight but I don't regret it. I did the childcare thing for a bit but I found it tied me down more then I wanted and I was busy enough with my own.

Worse case is go back and try it out, see if you can find something that works for everyone. Never an easy choice to make!!! Good luck!!!

Laura Beth said...

I am the worst person to give any advice because if you get benefits with Air Canada then I see that as very hard to give up. I would factor in how much of a difference the money you make will account for once you take childcare out of it. Would it be worth it to be away from your kids to make not very much profit? Hard call. I'd say try out the evening thing perhaps, and if you like it ..keep it up.. and hope they give you part time sooner then later! Tough call and good luck.

Visible Voice said...

I'd say try 2b and then 6. Maybe there will eventually be a possibility that you can go part time or casual. My husband and I work opposite each other and it's okay. Not the best ideally but it's working for short term gain so that I can be home with Isaiah. Honestly...I don't think you'll REALLY know what you want for your life until you do go back to work. You'd be surprised at how clearly the answers come.

I'd just pray pray pray for a job in your field that you can do part time. It will come. For reals.

Such a tough decision.

Deborah said...

I feel for you!! I'm finding myself in a position where I need to find extra income, and it's killing me to think of putting Abbi in daycare. So I cry everytime I send in a resume somewhere. I think you should go with your gut, but knowing just the information I have, I would probably work nights adn hope that a part time position opened up soon. But then again, it doesn't leave much time for sleep, and I can only imagine how exhausting twins are. And it woul dbe really hard to not see your husband. So I don't have the answer, but I'm praying for you!!

Chantal said...

My vote is to stay home. There will always be work somewhere for you to do, but you won't always have your little ones at home. There won't always be first steps, first words, baking cookies together, doing art projects, and they won't always want to play with you in the future. Eventually they will grow up and be off with friends and jobs of their own and then you can work. If you have to live on the tight side of things financially for a few years, it will be worth it because you were there for your children. At least that is the talk I had to give myself when I decided to stay home. I am 100% happy with my decision and I know my kids will be as well.

In the end, you will make the right choice for your family. You seem to have all your options thought through so it will come to you. Good luck!

Mel McDonald said...

I feel if this were my decision I would have a hard time going to work. If financially you NEED the money there really isn't a way around not working though.

I totally can understand why it would be hard to just quit but after 9 months of an opposite schedule with Nate I would never choose to do it again and throwing a child (or children as your case is) into the mix would pretty much be out of the question... if it were me.

Ultimately though I think if you try it out working first you'll be able to make a more educated decision and when you do you won't have regrets, only peace because you gave it a chance and you will then know what fits best.

If you decide to quit I vote that you wait until after summer to take in kids! Life only gets more hectic and there's no saying you will have the opportunity to spend the whole summer with your family in the future.

What ever you do I hope you feel peace with your decision. I know either way will be hard, but a hard choice is much easier when you feel the peace of knowing it's the right decision. If you don't feel peace that's a good gauge to know it's not right.

The Wentzell's said...

I work and we work out child care with kent who is self employed. I say 2b and see what happens. When your at work something may open up to give you the flexibility. If not you can always quit.

Roth Family said...

I say do #1 or #2 b. I wouldn't trade anything for the time i spent at home when my kids were little. They grow so quickly and that time can't be recaptured. Now, I just think back and remember those days as my youngest is 5. OR do 2b because although you wouldn't see your husband as much and you may be tired alot, you would still get to be with the girls and wouldn't have to pay for daycare. Good luck with this tough decision.

Precia said...

It was super hard for me to quit after having our first. I cried all the way home from work with the baby in the back seat. But I am so glad I did it. I would still be working to do this day because you always need more money! Kids seem to get (believe it or not) more expensive as they get older, and if you rely on that second check coming in you may never be able to give it up. This is such a personal choice. Kids do grow up fast. Marriages do need time. Uhhh I'm feeling for you. Good luck!

Nicole Wagner said...

Okay, I've lost track of which option I wanted to choose but here is my thoughts:
Your babies are ONLY little once.
I would NOT go back to work full time and miss all that time. You might regret it later. The only reason that would be a good choice is if you NEED absolutely NEED the money to survive and feed your children. Sounds like you've done fine on maternity leave though and that is a part-time pay right?
There is no greater work than within the walls of your own home Jenny:)If you can find something part time like at costco that would be great, you'd meet friends, have a break from being full time mommy sometimes but still spend the majority of your time with those sweet babies.
Pray. Your answer will come. Maybe it already has.In your heart, you will know.
I think the best choice is stay home, find a part time job if you need some extra money.
Love you and praying you will figure it out, I know you will!! xoxoxoxo