EASTER WEEKEND

The girls are SO HAPPY to have Mommy and Daddy home for three solid days with out either of us having to be anywhere.

We have had lovely weather so we took the girls outside to try out their new wagon!  Lucky for me Toys R Us was having a sale and we still have "mall money" left over from a gift, so we got a wagon for little out of our immediate pockets!  We called it their Easter Gift, but really they needed a wagon anyway, and we are not ones to give big Easter Gifts (in fact we did not even do any chocolate eggs or anything this year - honestly they are one - they don't need a chocolate bunny on the foot of their bed that mommy or daddy would end up eating anyway!)

They LOVE their wagon....

Lately the girls are trying to walk more and push things around walking - So to provide hours of fun they have each other to push around...

ENJOY!

Two Weeks Notice

So after a lot of anxiety and a lot of talking everything over in my head and with my husband, over and over and over and over and over again, I have FINALLY made my decision -
Drum Roll Please!

I am giving my Two Weeks Notice tomorrow!

I did NOT come to this decision lightly, and it has proved to be one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make.  Many tears were shed, plenty of realizations and a lot of grey hairs will soon follow.

I really have been flipping back and forth for months trying to decide if I should after 13 years quit a job which provided us with a little extra cushion and great flying benefits not to mention other things.  I finally realized that the fear in my decision was NOT about Money, but about Independence!  I have had a job since I was in high school, just about always had a job minus some of my schooling, so I have been mostly able to take care of myself!  Quitting my job was going to mean I was going to have to rely on someone else to take care of me - Not an easy step to take!

Even after I decided in my head that I was going to quit!  It wasn't until I prayed about my decision that I FINALLY felt at PEACE with it and KNEW it was the right decision.  There is life after Air Canada (so I am told) and my life is about to get so unfamiliar emotionally in so many ways, but here is to Quitting a job I did not hate, saying goodbye to people I have grown to love, saying goodbye to people I never cared for and realizing how many of my friends are jealous I finally made the decision.

So thank you work for all the amazing experiences traveling around the world you have provided for me, and Thank you to my little twins for all the experiences I am about to have with you that Money will never be able to buy!!

(PS  Thank you all ladies (and gents) for your sound advise and support, and if any of you need Airline questions answered and help with tickets for Air Canada, you only have two weeks left!!)

BIRTHDAY PHOTO OVERLOAD

We decided this year was a big year for the girls and for us and Mommy and Daddy so we decided we would do a nice fun party for the girls with family and friends to celebrate everything which was their pregnancy and their birth story and their first year of healthy happy babies.. It was a wonderful birthday party and the babies were all so good all TEN of them... only one little crying fit when a mommy left to get her little one some food in the other room.. it was amazing and fun to see them all playing together.  They are my friends from my baby group which have been wonderful to me and helping me with the twins when we all get together so I can feel somewhat normal!

The picture I posted yesterday was the photo of their bigger guest cake as well as the little party favours I made for everyone.  I KNOW - ME making party favours, but I had those little boxes I got on clearance from Michaels and figured, why not use them?  The candy inside was themed with babies - sour soothers, cabbage patch kids, and licorice babies.. From the photo you can see the little R and C for their names..

On with the photos and enough of my details happenings of the party!

The girls in their new Birthday Dresses

The play group girls at the party

The two Grandpas...

Opening gifts!

IT WAS SO MUCH FUN!

Birthday Party Photo Preview

A sneak peek into the birthday girls party!

We had so much fun, but now I need to get to bed and get ready for my first day back to work.. I wonder just how much I will cry tomorrow - Not worried about the babies crying, just mommy!

Happy First Birthday (picture heavyish)

I can't believe my little girls turned one today.
They are soundly sleeping during their afternoon nap and I already had my little cry over the fact they turned one and how blessed we are that they are such healthy and happy little girls.  It amazes me every day that those two little precious spirits were entrusted to Adam and I to love and take care of.  There are days where it overwhelms me how much I love those little girls.

Though today is their actual birthday, we are not having their birthday get together until Sunday afternoon due to conflicting schedules with family.  I am excited to have family (and a few friends) over on Sunday to celebrate their cuteness for a whole year now.

So until I get more 1st Birthday Photos.. Let me remind you how much they have grown in the past year!

 Me 18 weeks pregnant with the twins

The day they decided they needed to come out even earlier than planned!

Charlotte one day old - as they were switching her units I got to hold her without any tubes

or wires, or anything for a whole couple of minutes.. It was beautiful peace!

Ruby foot - I know I have this one before too, but I love it!

Charlottes little finger in mine!

 The day before we got to come home as a family... 

SOOO cute and getting bigger!

Just the other day - not their best photo, but a candid shot of how big they are getting!

Look for sometime either Sunday/Monday another post with their 1st Birthday photos and a bunch of photos of things they have done this year!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLS!

MOMMY AND DADDY LOVE YOU!

Guilt - Oh Guilt

Top 10 things I feel guilty about these days

1.  Going back to work Monday - even if for a short time

2.  Not getting to church as often as I should because the twins nap time is right during the first meeting and our day is turned upside down if they don't get that nap, and they don't nap on us.

3.  Not keeping the house as tidy and clean as it should be seeing how I am home all day

4.  Not feeling/looking what I wanted to look 1 year post baby!

5.  Not making dinner every night for my husband

6.  Not being more grateful for everything I do have and wanting what I don't have!

7.  Sometimes envying mothers who just have one baby at a time..  (I know odd but it would be easier to get out more often)

8.  Not exercising more

9.  Some days not even getting out of my pjs

10. Wishing I could get away from my life for a good week..

I KNOW I should not feel so guilty - and I KNOW people are going to say that comes with motherhood, but still... It really can get me down from time to time...but I am trying!!  Who knows how long I will last at work, and I KNOW (or HOPE) eventually I will get back into my favourite jeans, and my life will eventually get easier..
Don't get me wrong - I LOVE the life that I have, I think I just need a break, and realize I am not going to get it anytime soon (just like most moms)

Run Forrest RUN

Having the name JENNY when Forrest Gump became popular, had no shortage of people quoting Forrest lines to me for years and years after.  Even now I get the occasional one and think they must have just recently watched the movie!

My point is simple today - I wish I had been Forrest and been able to run across the country  - just run, and run and run - maybe THEN  I would fit into my favourite jeans!


How did you get back into your favourite jeans after having a baby (or two at once in my case)????

Wordless Wednesday - First Photo Session

Bathing How To

I absolutely love my little girls (though I have been dreaming about being pregnant with a boy) and I love how excited they get over little things.  Example - Right now they are both crawling around the floor laughing chasing each other and an empty container of puffs is rolling all around and they think it is the most funny thing they have ever played with - How I wish our lives as adults were so uncomplicated.

This morning I decided to do a double bath again.  They love it so much, and I have been trying to teach them to "wash" themselves with the face cloth.. We will have to work on that, as you can see from the photos they did just about everything but!

Bath Time

Who says the babies do not have any hair ????

Wordless Wednesday - Which Twin?

I know, but can you tell which twin this is???

Entryway Make Over - Ty Pennington Who???

OK so, MAYBE I don't have the skills that Ty has, but I also don't have the staff and the tools, but I am happy with my entry way make over.  Yes, I did EVERYTHING by myself.
My husband was gone this week for meetings with the teachers Union in Fredericton, so I had double duty of babies during the day/night and I managed to get mostly all of this finished to surprise my husband when he came home.  I love my husband, but we both know I am the handy one of the two of us, and I love doing handy things... So... One of the last rooms to have a MUCH needed facelift...  There are still a couple things I need to add to the room including a vinyl quote for the wall... I had to take photos right away because we all know it is not going to stay looking to neat and tidy, but I am very HAPPY with the results and so is everyone who comes through!

Here are some before shots!

Yes it was a 1970's wood panel look with a cute ironing board closet!

On the right is where we would hang out coats...

This photo does not show our washer and dryer but everything else was just about the same with colours and I had still not taken down the lace window treatments.

So.. here is the new and improved room!  I smile every time I come in the room now!

Need to figure out what picture to put in the cute frame I found to match the letters for our first names.  I almost found enough for the family but they did not have any "R" left for Ruby so I opted to get just the two for Adam and I!  I LOVE them and put them in the old ironing board closet!

SO there it is everyone!  It was A LOT of work and I did it mostly all at night when the babies went to bed and a few things while I had a friend over so I could go down to the "shed" to use the table saw to cut the trip and the wainscotting.  I had A LOT of fun and now it is just to decide what QUOTE to put above the coat hooks..
ANY IDEAS of what it should say?????

Think before You Speak...PLEASE!

I briefly mentioned that the girls had their 9 month (adjusted) follow up at from the NICU last week and everything is great.. Charlotte is off the charts and Ruby is right where she should be... I just have to tell this little story because not only did it make me slightly fume, it made me laugh telling my husband of it later.

So I was getting in the elevator with my long beautiful red/black double stroller that I heart, when another lady, and a couple got on the elevator with me.  Of COURSE I get the usual questions I sometimes wonder why people ask, like "are they twins???" YES - You must have your hands full?  - YES (both of them I always answer)... Then the woman by her self asked another usual question and this is how it went down.

Lady - "Are these your first children"

Me - "YES"

Lady - "Well that's good, at least that way it is EASY because you don't know any different"

Me - "Do you have any children?"

Lady - "Yes, just one!"

Me - "Was THAT EASY??"

Lady - "ummmm"

Other couple - "laugh laugh laugh"

Nothing else was said, but sometimes I have to wonder if people really think before they speak....
Add this one to the list of "You did not just say that to me" comments while out with the twins!

That is right up there with the lady in the grocery store asking me if I was buying the canned mandarine slices for the babies (I think they were like 5 months), and when I said No - She said good because she has 5 children and she knows they are too young for that and I looked quite young so wanted to pass that along -  Seriously?  Seriously???

SERIOUSLY???

Feeling Nostalgic

So I have been watching the girls grow so fast and we had our NICU follow up a couple days ago and it made me very nostalgic for the little tiny bundles that really did nothing but cuddle and sleep!
Do not get me wrong, they are a lot easier (not easy) now that they can move about on their own and feed themselves and play with each other, but oh they were so little!

Check out their first diapers at the NICU compared to their diapers now! (another plug for applecheeks) Look how they have grown!!!
Oh so tiny, oh so grateful they are healthy and happy little girls!
(I have to remind myself that because they are far from adorable little girls today!)

What are you thankful for today??

Ruby's Foot

Day one with Charlotte before going into her incubator 

The Ultimate Question

I have been SERIOUSLY struggling with a major decision lately.  I am struggling with the fact that my maternity leave is up soon and my return to WORK date is MARCH 22nd.  Three days after the girls real birthday and 2 months before the adjusted one year mark.  

I have been going through option after option in my head trying to make sense of everything and trying to predict the future (which I have determined is really hard by the way)!

Do I go back to work, do I stay home, so I go back to work, do I quit???  Over and over again at least every hour I run the scenarios through my head until the all get jumbled up together and I have to start all over again the next hour.

First off I have to say that I have applied for an extended leave, and that was denied due to man power requirements.  I have also had a request in for part time since before I went out on Maternity leave, that too is not going to happen for a while.  SO I have done everything before I return to work to allow myself to not go back to work right away for full time.

For those of you who are followers of my blog and not from my immediate area of Eastern Canada, day care here for TWO one years olds is around 125/175 per week PER CHILD!  So my husband and I could look forward to paying between 1000/1400 for child care per month.  The day cares closest to us in Millidgeville are all 175/week per child and it goes down as the children get older... 

Now before any of you jump at me, I realize there are many women out there who work and pay day care for multiple children and I tip my hat to those of you who do.

Here are my options in my head.... PICK ONE for me.. I'd like to say that which ever one gets the most votes is what I am going to pick, but lets face it I fear I am going to make the decision on the 22nd of March after my first day back at work.

Here are my options

1.  QUIT work - simple sounding isn't it?  It really isn't!  After 13 years with the same company of Air Canada I have grown accustom to traveling for next to nothing and having a regular pay cheque and a social life revolving around my work friends.  A great pension I have been paying into and wonderful benefits system (though my husband has a great one too so that is not as important)

2. Go BACK to WORK 

      a.  Go back to work full time and work my rotating schedule of days/afternoons/evenings/nights and have the babies full time at day care and I will get to see them some days and some not.

     

      b.  Go back to work full time and work all evenings and not have pay for day care as my husband can be home from his teaching job at 4pm and I can go into work at 4pm (It is up the street) and work until midnight and take care of the girls during the day and see my husband on the weekends (when I have them off) but Remember ZERO day care costs... 

      c.  Go back to work for a few months until my husband is off for the summer and then quit and have the summer off with him and the girls and worry about tomorrow - tomorrow??

3.  Quit right now and take two children into my own home as their daycare and make up most of the difference from my pay cheque verses the cost of day care!  (note would not have summer off with husband and babies)

4.  Quit right now... do nothing until September and take a couple kids in at that point!!

5.  Quit (I see a theme) and apply at the new Costco to work part time (assuming I would get hired)

6.  Finally the last option... Go back to work... try it out and if I hate it.. QUIT and figure it out at that point...

Do you SEE why I am so confused..???

My husband is supportive of whatever I choose to do.  Honestly he does not want me to go back to work but sees the financial benefit of doing so.  I do not need to work at Air Canada, but I do need to do something to bring in some money each month to help pay my student loans (yeah still) and pay down our overall debt load.  

HELP PLEASE! (I also take suggestions)

Perhaps the most beautiful ever

If you are wanting to read one of the most beautiful birth stories ever, please go over to this blog and get out your tissues and enjoy the long, but beautiful story.  Trust me you will not regret taking the time to do so.

YES MORE PHOTOS OF THE GIRLS

I WISH I had more time to take photos, or learn to take better photos of just about anything, but seeing how my life right now revolves around my family, and especially the twins all day long, I thought I would post a couple more photos of them.
I TRIED to get decent shots of both of them, but for some reason Ruby was much more willing to sit still and pose for me.  One of these days we will get professional photos taken of the family, but for now, my amateur photography will have to do!

LOST LOVE - AND TOP TENS

ENOUGH SAID!

Also, through the Multiples and More  website, I stumbled across a MAN who is doing a blog about top 10 for men at this site  !  He has only begun but his intro is quite funny and having twins myself, I laugh because my husband would go around exercising with the twins.  I can't wait to see what his next top ten will be and how I can apply it to my man!  So for all you women out there who have men in your lives... this blog is for them (but it can't hurt if we read it too, be sure to read his Top Ten Things This Blog Won't Be entry... at least I thought it was funny!